that is what I am. something I know I have been for a very long time.
I’m not needed. If I was gone right now, nobody would notice. One way other another I have seemed to push away people. I don’t know how I did that. How I’m doing it.
I had always thought I could be the person who could care and protect others, but no one wants me to do that. I’m damaged and broken, and despite my efforts, that’s all I seem to be viewed as.
I don’t have anyone to talk to about this, If I did I doubt they would care. Everyone’s life is moving forward, and I’m happy, but it’s sad to realize I’ll be behind. And not be part of anyone’s life in any capacity.
It’s a crisis of confidence. Before I even attempt to go back to school, I feel and know I’ve already failed. I’m not smart. And I can’t cut it in college. I can’t cut it as a friend, I couldn’t cut it as a soldier. I wanted to help others but can’t even help myself.
Things would be better off if I wasn’t around to meddle in the affairs of others.